We made it! 3-11-2016

I can't believe I'm typing my last email. I just want to share a few of the most important lessons I've learned this past year and a half. 

I still have sooo much more to learn. Everyday I feel like I realize how little I know in the grand scheme of things, but I am eternally grateful I have been able to spend these past 18 months and 2 weeks sharing my Savior's life-saving Gospel with everyone around me and been able to watch Him change them and me.

1. There is wisdom and beauty in unanswered prayers.

I am so grateful for the moments I have had to just walk by faith. There have been a lot of times when I've felt like my prayers have gone unanswered and then weeks or months down the road, I've been able to recognize God was walking by me the whole time shaping me through trial, into the person He wanted me to be. 

And in some unexplainable way, through these moments, I became more acquainted with Him because of it. 

I think it's in the moments of feeling alone and not knowing what to do, that you have to turn towards Christ and as you turn to Him, you come to understand His strength and His power and His peace. 

I'm grateful that God is wise and isn't a Father in Heaven that requires or hands out instantaneous results or answers. 

Living the Gospel of Jesus Christ is a process and it is the most beautiful process and path one could ever walk down.

2. Obedience brings conversion.

I was talking to a sister a few months ago. We were talking about why some missions completely change people and why some missionaries can go home and go back to being the same person they were when they left. 

She said something that I'll never forget: 

"You can be a successful missionary in terms of baptisms and be disobedient, but you will not become converted." 

I know with all my heart that obedience is the first law in heaven for a reason. 

As I submit my will to God's, incredible things happen. 

I become the person I want to be and can understand in greater depth my own potential. 

Before my mission, I had a really strong testimony of the Savior. I knew with all my heart He died for me and that He truly did live. But in terms of this being Christ's true and living church on the earth, guided by Him today, I honestly wasn't sure. I hoped, but I didn't know. 

One of my favorite scriptures is John 7:17 which says, 

"If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself." 

I love Heavenly Father for so many reasons but one of the greatest reasons is because I know I can test His promises. If I keep His commandments and live with intention, I will still make a million mistakes, but He will bless me. He will help me. He will transform me. 

He wants to help us and if we will keep His commandments, life will be so much simpler and a trillion times more fulfilling. 

3. Christ's grace is free and it's there because God wants us back to live with him.

I learned what grace was in my third transfer. 

We were teaching a less active member who grew up Evangelical and then converted to the church but was in need of a lot of things. 

She honestly changed my life. She helped me understand where to place my emphasis in teaching people about Jesus. What I mean by that is so often in my head I use the word I. 

"I prayed and had faith and so that's why I had miracles today," "I have done everything I needed to do and so that is what makes me worthy to go to the temple," "I believed enough in God that I was able to reach my goals for today," etc.

In part, these statements are true. It is important to do our part because it's only through action that one can become a true disciple of Christ. 

But I have really learned that I will never be enough on my own. I will never have perfect faith, I will always make mistakes and that is why Christ came. If I don't rely on Him and just think I can do everything on my own, I'm defeating the whole reason He came to earth. 

If I think that living the Gospel is something I have to do on my own, I could never do it. Walking the same path Christ walked, would be impossible. 

But because of His grace, His free and everlasting gift to each one of us, it is possible for all my imperfections to be reconciled and I can be perfected in Him.

4. Love changes everything and it's worth working at.

I was counting yesterday and I've had 11 companions on my mission - 11 incredible women who have taught me more than I could have possibly imagined. 

They've taught me so much about what it means to be strong and to trust in God. 

We have all been different. Reallyyyy different. And had some hard moments. haha. But because there was always love between us, they have all become my best friends. 

There is something sweet about mission companions. They see you at your lowest and you cry together and share frustration but you also share those moments of perfect happiness together. 

Love isn't something that you can fake. I've tried and it doesn't make you happy. 

I know that Jesus Christ can help me love people in a real, sincere, and genuine way. Jesus Christ has helped me see people in a different way and want to understand why they are the way that they are. 

I also know that feeling God's love is the only motivator that brings true and lasting results. 

I struggled a lot at the beginning of my mission trying to help people who didn't have the desire to change. One day during sacrament meeting I realized that the only thing I could do was to show guests on Temple Square that I love them and pray that while they're here they will feel and understand the love God has for them and that will inspire and give them the strength to follow his plan of happiness. 

It works. 

The love of Christ changes people's hearts. 

I also learned that love is simple. It doesn't have to be complicated and there are so many ways to show love. 

5. Christ's atonement happened and it is all encompassing. 

I was thinking about Christ suffering in Gethsemane and realized that, for however many moments, He bled and suffered for me. In the hours that He prayed in the garden, He saw my face and He knew that He was taking on the sins, suffering, disappointment, regret, and hurt of Carly Helton. 

He did it solely because He loves me. 

He's done that for everyone who has ever lived. 

He did it one by one and He truly does understand what I need. 

What I love the most about this is that He overcame it all. He overcame it all and because of that, I don't have to. 

If I can secure and glue myself to Him and allow Him space in my life, He will show me how to get through everyday because He's already done it and He's conquered all the trials I will face in life. 

A scripture I read every time I want to give up or just can't anymore says, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." 

He's taken care of it. I want to always be close to Him because I have never felt peace like I've felt being a missionary. 

God is so smart. Service and getting over yourself and struggling and praying and studying and listening and sharing, it's what Christ did and it's what His gospel is all about, and it's what brings fulfillment and eternal peace. 

In hindsight, I've wondered how I ended up coming on a mission. It was never in my plans and it was never something I thought I could actually do or would want to do. 

But I know with all my heart that God is in control and He will direct our paths if we let Him. His plan is so much better than my plan. 

I feel like I could write a million more things but the last thing I want to say is that I love Jesus Christ will all my heart. He's saved me from myself and I will always live His gospel. 

I can't wait to see you next week! Love you so much! 

Sister Helton